Need to talk with someone who understands?
How2LoveOurCops has CISM Trained team members who are available to support you.
These trained people are LEO spouses, officers and LEO Leadership who've been through significant difficulties like critical incidents, disasters, LODDs, injuries, etc. Fill out the form below, giving a brief description and our team will respond as soon as possible.
All conversations are confidential.
National Book Club
2021 ushered in a new program, our National Book Club. Spurred on by the restrictions COVID-19 brought about in 2020, our team realized the need for connection and education was greater than ever, but more difficult than ever. We developed a plan to read a book together, meet for a Zoom meeting that gave extra information related to that week’s reading, and then Zoom “After Parties” for those who didn’t meet in person in their areas. The results were amazing—connections made all over the country and in homes, support systems strengthened, even lives changed through the content and interaction! And we learned of an added bonus: officers were joining in as well, just off camera! This stirred up meaningful conversations between couples—a great thing in this crazy career!
Our first book was A CHiP on my Shoulder. It took nine weeks, and then we did two check-in Zooms over the summer. Here is the reading schedule and the links to the interviews:
- Introduction & Chapter 1: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2_oJCRns5l4
- Chapters 2 & 3: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wj-llPP0akY
- Chapters 4 & 5: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Idm-f-pYaqI
- Chapters 6 & 7: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rTRpPqOItxs
- Chapter 8: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u1sP9kcLKks
- Chapter 9 & 10: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ueTF261BXxs
- Chapters 11 & 12: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IG4HrfHAsBI
- Chapter 13: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-LbymFDAh90
- Chapter 14: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=krYfy2w_0HU
June 2021 Check-In: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9tPybU_N9Hk
July 2021 Check-In: https://youtu.be/pFbkgej3DMo
If you’d like to carry on the tradition and do your own book club in your area, contact firstname.lastname@example.org for bulk priced copies of A CHiP on my Shoulder.
Our second National Book Club is we tackled Emotional Survival for Law Enforcement, New Edition. We have copies of the new edition on hand (they’re hard to get)—so contact email@example.com for reduced price copies.
Stay tuned for the links to extra interviews for this series!
Our third National Book Club we read through I'll Be There--But I'll Be Wearing Sweatpants. The extra content videos are fantastic, as Victoria interviewed her friends on Zoom on relationships.
Stay tuned for the links to extra interviews.
At this time, we have returned to in person meetings at our Home Watch Conferences in different cities of the country. We do not have plans for a new book at this time, but check back, as we could change our minds depending on needs!
This is where it all began, first with spouses, and then later with officers (because it takes two!). Presently we offer:
- Victoria's books, A CHiP on my Shoulder – How 2 Love and Support Your Cop is for law enforcement spouses and significant others, and A Marriage in Progress – Tactical Support for Law Enforcement Relationships is for officers. They both speak of the challenges of a crisis-driven career and impact on relationships, giving tried and true tools and perspectives to implement. Next up is Facing Evil: A Cop's Story of Murder, Mayhem, and the Aftermath, co-written with Sacramento County Deputy Scott Brown.
- Our Blog gives additional encouragement, ideas, and perspectives.
- Our Facebook Page for upcoming events, relative articles and musings, and news.
- Home Watch Conference – Our first spouse conference was held March 2, 2019 and over 150 spouses attended. We encourage, educate, and facilitate community on this full day of instruction, connection, good food, and surprises.
- Couples' Conference/Retreats (Under construction) – We are in talks with other organizations to put together active, vibrant, and impactful couples' conferences and retreats. We know it takes a lot to get away from career and kids – we want to make these events the best experience worthy of your time and investment!
- Spouse Group Assistance – We are partnering with others to implement resources and training to create spouse groups that are supportive of departments, invite positivity, maneuver through difficult situations, and have a great impact on the culture of law enforcement families. We've begun work with spouses all over the country, as well as departments implementing programs for their families.
- Peer Support – Members of our team have been coming alongside local spouses and couples in crisis and in groups, as well as some online help/advice/referrals. Since 2020, our staff and extended volunteers have undergone a training program to further our impact and increase our ability to help families.
For more information on these areas, contact firstname.lastname@example.org.
Spouse Group Assistance/Mentoring
This program was created in 2020, born from local agencies asking our Team to help create/improve/ build up their spouse associations. We have several on our team who have years of experience in this capacity, meet with groups who reach out. Vice President Janine is part of a team who created a manual/guide for spouse groups released in 2021. Our long term vision is to create training, community, and a meeting of ideas for spouse groups and their leaders everywhere.
For many years, the Northern California law enforcement community has been through many difficulties--Line of Duty Deaths, critical incidents, fires, suicides, evacuations, protests, dramatic trials, and more. Several of our Team members and their spouses have been affected directly and indirectly. How 2 Love Our Cops has joined with other groups to bring relief and tangible encouragement to those most affected. Our members are also meeting with families in moments of need as peer support, providing meals and needed items, and other miscellaneous means. It is our wish that we don't have so many opportunities, but as long as our law enforcement families have need, we will be there.
An added benefit to our community outreach has been the opportunity for the general public to express their support for law enforcement in tangible ways. As we've partnered from the beginning with businesses and individuals in our events and crisis response, the support and awareness has increased, creating greater opportunity to come together.
Our Team collects department and agency patches from all over the world, and once a month we post a different patch on our blog, Facebook and Instagram pages and offer up a prayer for that particular agency. We then post the patches on special bulletin boards and display at our events.
Want us to pray for you? Send us a patch! How 2 Love Our Cops, PO Box 811, Penryn, CA 95663.
We have aided several officers and family members in their healing through specific giving. We do not have a fund to request from. Rather, if a donor wants to give for a specific family member's therapy, we can help facilitate this.
Wounded Officer Division (VOWS)
Under the leadership of How 2 Love Our Cops, Advisor Heidi Paulson and her husband Ladd, we have created community support for officers catastrophically wounded in the line of duty. The VOWS Program includes:
- Our annual VOWS (Veterans Of the Wars on our Streets) Retreat, previously held in Montana, for couples who've been wounded in the line of duty. Attendees experience five days of encouragement, training, and outdoor activities with others who've been through similar experiences. Unfortunately, this retreat is on hold due to illness of those who lead it.
- We have a Facebook page for support and advice on benefits that is available via invitation.
- Heidi's book, Dependence Day, documents the journey she and Ladd have traversed since he was hit not once but twice on his motorcycle on-duty.
- We share Heidi with Wounded Blue, an organization for injured and disabled officers, to speak on behalf of wounded officers to our country's officials. Ladd and Heidi have been relentless in their pursuit to pass legislation that will provide federal benefits in the event of on-duty disability. See our NEWS section for updates.
For more information on these areas, contact Heidi@how2loveourcops.org.
"As a police officer and a wife of an injured officer, I would highly recommend this program for couples that have endured a critical injury. Our profession is extremely lacking in support for these officers and their families. Most of us experience an amazing outpouring of support immediately following such an incident, but soon after life gets back to normal for everyone else. We are often left feeling disenfranchised and struggle phyically, emotionally, and financially for YEARS. I will be forever grateful to have experienced being part of this group. We realized there are many people out there dealing with the same issues we struggle with on a day-to-day basis. We have new lifelong friends and a support network that is invaluable." Karen and Dan