How 2 Love Our Cops

Backup for the Home

Today is Day One of my new blog. Welcome to my mind – let me share my heart…

Who am I?

I’m a 40-something wife of an Asst. Chief in the California Highway Patrol. I have four children: two young adults, a teenager, and a pre-teen, all living at home. I learn a lot from these five people who I share my life with. They are real, growing and changing persons, and at times this is hilarious. They are my family, my home.

I wrote “A CHiP on my Shoulder – How to Love Your Cop with Attitude,” a book specifically for law enforcement spouses. It’s my first book; won’t be my last. Rumor has it that cops all over the country are reading it too, but don’t tell them I told you, okay? I also mentor, speak, and comfort all ages of women who I come into contact with.

Some people say I look like Meg Ryan, but that was before she had plastic surgery and I gained 20 pounds. Okay, thirty. But I still hold onto that image of her in the yellow dress in Top Gun, comforting a tearful Tom Cruise in his naval uniform, offering altruistic comfort in the midst of her own pain. That’s the image I hold onto in my mind, even if the mirror doesn’t agree.

Why the blog?

I love uniforms. Police officers. Firefighters. Military. I love what they do, and how they do it. I love that they get it – that other people matter, and that some things are worth putting your life on the line to protect. And I have a passion to support them by supporting those who support them. Did you get that? Uniforms put themselves on the line, but there are those at home who love them, and have to make their own sacrifices. It’s never easy, and takes courage and tenacity to make a good marriage, a good home.

My early years with my cop on the street and babes in arms were lonely. I didn’t have many girlfriends who were married to cops. Los Angeles covers many traffic-jammed miles – we cop wives were spread apart, and others were breaking apart before our eyes. I love that we are joining together through education, shared experiences, police wives groups, and internet. We need each other!

So, what will I write about?

Being a cop wife. Being a mom. Being a whole woman. My observations and experiences with cop families. Lessons learned from little pieces of my life. Occasionally, I will share some God moments, as I am a woman of faith. Basically, anything and everything that can bring hope, help and sometimes humor to this life we live as LEOWs (law enforcement officer wives). Our spouses have backup on the street, we are their backup at home, but we, too, need support. We need backup for our homes. I hope my book, blog, and beyond will be beneficial (BTW, I like to play with words). At any rate, I got your back!

About Victoria Newman - "A CHiP on My Shoulder"


  1. Abby Longshore on February 1, 2012 at 12:36 am

    This is such a great & needed resource. My husband & I have been married almost 19 yrs & he’s worked 3rd shift the majority of it. He is a Franklin county dep. in Columbus, Ohio area. He is a swat sniper & instructor & loves it.We made the necessary adjustments so I can be home w/my 2 boys. Ages 4 & almost 15. It is hard not being able to plan things, be alone on holidays, kids events, arrange my “schedule” around his. It’s been difficult to see his easy going nature turn hard over the years. Other swat wives & I joke around about the guys getting trained in Arrogance 101. Many times I have to remind him to quit ordering us around. He is a good man, good father & I feel blessed & proud that we’ve made it this far. Thank you for this venue.
    Abby Longshore,Ohio

  2. Katie on February 1, 2012 at 12:47 am

    Looking forward to following your blog. Not many ‘get it’ and it feels good when someone does!

  3. Kandice on February 1, 2012 at 2:06 am

    As a fellow LEOW, I love finding other resources of support. We are a small community of people who “get” what it means to send our loved ones to work and pray they come home at the end of their shift. Thank you for this blog and I look forward to your future posts!

  4. Barbara on February 1, 2012 at 2:17 am

    How awsome! The wives where I live support eachother, but many remain isolated by the really deep issues that are unexpressed. It’s wonderful to have another wife say, “Yours does that, too?” Love it!

  5. Shelley Chandler on February 1, 2012 at 6:54 am

    As a former LEO and the wife of a LEO for 19+ years, I look forward to your blog. My husband works for a small state agency and all the officers are spread throughout the state. This makes the spouses pretty isolated. Since I used to work for his agency and many of the same people still work there, I actually feel more in line with the officers than the wives.

    BTW – is there a link to purchase your book? I have been meaning to pick up a copy. Thanks!

  6. vicki on February 1, 2012 at 7:15 am

    Hey, Shelley – CHiP is available on, Barnes&, and ebook download on My website has the links as well. Thanks for asking!!!

  7. Jen on February 1, 2012 at 8:45 pm

    How do I subscribe!

  8. vicki on February 1, 2012 at 8:58 pm

    Hey, Jen!

    We’re working on this now. I should have it up soon. Until then, each time I post I will mention it on FBk and Twitter. And my goal is once or twice a week, if you want to check my website.

  9. Abby Longshore on February 3, 2012 at 1:04 am

    This is a good thing. Im looking forward to being able to subscribe!

  10. Amanda Couvrette on February 8, 2012 at 4:10 am

    I am a wife of a CHP officer for a year and a half now and LOVED hearing you speak at the academy the day before graduation. You gave so much hope to an overwhelming situation. Moving away from all our family and friends and entering a new job and new home. I cannot wait to read your book and hopefully hear you speak again. The support I have received from fellow officer wives has been a life saver and isolation definitely would have been so much more difficult!! Thank you for opening up a window for conversation and support that so many of us newbies need.

  11. MichelleW on February 8, 2012 at 4:43 am

    I love that you have developed this new forum for continuing the discussions you initiated with CHiP…and allowing us “fans” to have a way to share thoughts with each other. Can’t wait to subscribe!!

  12. KatieL on February 9, 2012 at 12:33 am

    THIS is exactly what I need. I am brand new to this adventure and so glad I found your blog. I will soon be a LEOW because we are engaged and planning our wedding! The future holds so many wonderful possibilites for us but also many challenges. I have great support from a couple of police wives already but majority of my friends just don’t get it. I am so proud of my man and support him 100% and it is awesome knowing their is a whole community of police wives here to support me!

    Can’t wait to read your book!

  13. Melodee on February 17, 2012 at 6:39 am

    I’ll look for your book and look forward to your blog. My husband and I celebrate 30 years of marriage in June and he’s been with our little PD in Northern CA, in the middle of dope-growing country, for the last 25. It’s been an interesting life to say the least.

  14. Sydney on March 2, 2012 at 9:54 pm

    THANK YOU for writing your book! I am pouring through it, going back to certain spots and thinking about it constantly. My husband is a CHP officer in the Bay Area, and your book and blog have really touched me and made me feel like I was doing a good job as an officers wife with 2 small children. Thank you again!

  15. Mrs. Deputy B on May 7, 2012 at 9:25 pm

    Unfortunately the LEO wives in my area are pretty clique-ish. I remarried 3 years ago this June to a deputy in NC and still have only met a couple of the wives. I have been searching for resources to see if what im going through is Cop-related or husband-related. Im am so excited to find your blog. I started a group on FB for the police wives of henderson county and have only had 10-12 wives respond. I wish our our are was a welcoming as some of yours are on here. Wish me luck! Im so happy to have stumbled across your blog and look foward to buying your book.

  16. Victoria Newman - "A CHiP on My Shoulder" on May 8, 2012 at 4:24 am

    Facebook is a great place to connect with other wives! If you’ve got 10-12, you’ve got a good start. Make it count, and it’ll grow. I know some groups who started with two and slowly but surely have grown in depth and number over time. I’m also on Facebook – under A CHiP on my Shoulder – How to Love Your Cop with Attitude. Thanks for posting!

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