A CHiP on My Shoulder
Chp 8: Stuff Happens – How do you spell relief
How Do You Spell Relief? Whether the issues that you face in your marriage are a result of his job or relational differences or other outside pressures, there is a likelihood that at some point you will want to give up. Even the best marriages have occasional long winter seasons, and we are human. For…
Read MoreChp 8: Stuff Happens – How to Recover
Take Time to Recover The third stage is to take time to recover. Try to get some time off and get away for a change of scenery. Build positive memories. Take a break from extra-curricular activities that create more busyness. Make sure your family gets rest. If your relationship is at a relational deficit, then…
Read MoreChp 8: Stuff Happens – How to Handle His Crisis
How to Deal with His Crisis Whatever crises our husbands undergo, they need us, and they need us to be strong. Depending on the circumstances, we could be the ones who are there for him to talk out some of the emotion. But when it’s too big for us, we can come alongside and love…
Read MoreChp 8: Stuff Happens: Suicide
Fifteen Is Enough! A few years back, Brent and I were getting ready for bed at the end of the day when he checked his Blackberry one last time. Another suicide. It was number fifteen for our department in a period of four years. I cried out, “Another one?! What are we doing?!” I didn’t…
Read MoreChp 8: Stuff Happens – Substance Abuse
Alcohol and drug dependence are coping mechanisms. Something is up, and they have developed a crutch to lean on. Here are some symptoms of a drinking problem, adapted from Alcoholics Anonymous: 1. You have tried to stop drinking for a set amount of time and couldn’t go the distance. 2. You want people to quit…
Read MoreChp 8: Stuff Happens: The One that Sticks with Him
Rick was the toughest cop in the room. He’d been on the force for a quarter of a century and had earned respect among his peers. He prided himself in the fact that he kept it together. But there was always a picture in the back of his mind of a little girl and her…
Read MoreChp 8: Stuff Happens. When Hard Times Come
It isn’t a matter of if, it’s a matter of when. Stress can create police marriage problems but you can be prepared. Because my husband has PTSD from his deployment to Iraq, the Fourth of July is now about renting loud movies, closing all the windows and blinds or praying that he gets called into…
Read MoreChp 7: Your Support System-You need him too
Part of your support system has to be your spouse. You need him too! Up to this point I have talked about getting support from others. But I cannot move ahead without mentioning the most influential person of your support system: your husband! You are one entity, and you can lean on one another. Two…
Read MoreChp 7: Your Support System – Rules of Interacting with Other Wives part 2
Last week’s blog has some tips on helping you have a support system with other police wives. Here are some more rules of engagement for you. Rule Number Three: They Are One, Not Two Rose’s husband is a deputy with a nearby county sheriff’s department. She was recounting to me how the office had experienced…
Read MoreChp 7: Your Support System-But Girls are Mean
You need a support system, but can you trust women? I ran into an acquaintance recently who I hadn’t seen in a while. We quickly caught each other up on our families, and she mentioned that her nine-year-old daughter was giving her fits. I nodded, knowingly. “That’s when their hormones start up,” I shared. “I…
Read More