Posts Tagged ‘Marriage’
Chp 6: Thick Skin, Soft Heart: How To Deal Emotionally
I don’t wear the badge on a uniform. But when you’re married to an officer, you wear the shadow of their badge on your heart. Pat, wife of a CHP officer who was injured on-duty Worrying is carrying tomorrow’s load with today’s strength—carrying two days at once. It is moving into tomorrow ahead of time.…
Read MoreChp 5: Game Face, His Coping Mechanisms
His Coping Mechanisms Your cop will have his ways to deal with stress. You may not be crazy about some of them, but, if it’s working, you need to let it go. A couple of years ago, Brent had a chief who dealt with stress by having an occasional outdoor cigar-smoking session with a few…
Read MoreChp 5: Game Face-The Hero at Home
The Hero at Home Because this book covers different aspects of law enforcement marriage, it probably seems like my entire existence revolves around the fact that he is a cop. It doesn’t. There are areas of our lives that have nothing whatsoever to do with law enforcement. This is a big question for new officers’…
Read MoreChp 5: Game Face-Understanding his moods before and after shifts
Before and after Shifts Many times this hypervigilance rollercoaster will begin just before he leaves for work. He’s putting on his game face. For Brent and I, the time before his shift wasn’t pretty for years. Sometimes I’d be upset half the shift after he’d leave. He was intensely focused. There were a few hurt…
Read MoreCh 3: Creating Your Own Normal – Sometimes You Just Have to be Brave
Sometimes You Just Have To Be Brave The laughter was deafening. Emily found herself laughing along; although because she didn’t really know these people, she felt a touch uncomfortable. Clara had just opened her white-elephant gift: a set of five condoms. It was definitely appropriate for the crowd. They were all recently married, and everyone’s…
Read MoreWhite Picket Fences
Yesterday I was taken aback by a beautiful gal who asked me to sign her book. She had her soon-to-be officer with her, and her 7-year-old son. I asked her a couple of questions and soon she was dabbing the edges of her eyes, careful not to mess up her mascara. “I was doing fine…
Read MoreAuthenticity
When my book first came out and my friends and family members read it, a frequent observation was, “Wow, you really put a lot of personal stuff in there. Has Chief read it?” Are you kidding?! Of course Chief read it! He went through it with a fine-tooth comb. And he gave me feedback –…
Read MoreAnger Management
It was the final inning of the game and we were down by 2 runs. It was a hard fought battle – they were hitters, and the umpire seemed to be against us. We had two boys on base, and our “manchild” was up – he could hit homeruns into the next county. We were…
Read MoreWhat We Say Matters
Last night the Chief and I stumbled upon a show called The Great Escape. There were three teams that had to escape several levels of what they called a “labyrinth.” There were two couples and a team of brothers. While we watched with intrigue as they repelled out windows, evaded guards, hid in laundry trucks…
Read MoreChecking What We’re Expecting
Sunday was the BIG game. We walked across the street to our neighbor’s home, where the food is ample and amazing. I brought sun-dried tomato pesto appetizers – and they were gone in ten minutes. I brought wedges of brownie pizza – and they were gone in four. I didn’t expect that. We rooted for…
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