How to Start a Peer Group

I absolutely LOVE my new Peer Group. There are eleven of us wives from six different departments around the NorCal area. We’ve met twice now and the camaraderie is already there. I’d like to see other groups like this – to experience the friendship with other LEOWs, and to really have that support. So I’ve…

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Chp 10: Little Future Cops-Dads and their kids

Dads Need Their Kids When Brent became a highway patrolman, I was the one who comforted him when he came home. But after we started having children, I noticed a little shift. It seemed to me that he was more excited to see them than me when he came home. I used to get a…

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Chp 10: Little Future Cops-Kid Communication

Kid Communication Kendra’s six-year-old son knew Daddy went to work to arrest bad guys. Diedra and her husband sat their boys down at the ages of twelve and ten and had a heart to heart about what Dad’s job entailed. Betty’s eight- and nine-year-old kids watched their daddy on television during a standoff. I have…

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Chp 8: Stuff Happens – How to Recover

Take Time to Recover The third stage is to take time to recover. Try to get some time off and get away for a change of scenery. Build positive memories. Take a break from extra-curricular activities that create more busyness. Make sure your family gets rest. If your relationship is at a relational deficit, then…

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Chp 8: Stuff Happens – How to Handle His Crisis

How to Deal with His Crisis Whatever crises our husbands undergo, they need us, and they need us to be strong. Depending on the circumstances, we could be the ones who are there for him to talk out some of the emotion. But when it’s too big for us, we can come alongside and love…

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Chp 8: Stuff Happens. When Hard Times Come

It isn’t a matter of if, it’s a matter of when. Stress can create police marriage problems but you can be prepared. Because my husband has PTSD from his deployment to Iraq, the Fourth of July is now about renting loud movies, closing all the windows and blinds or praying that he gets called into…

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Chp 6: Short v. Long Term Thinking

Short-Term vs. Long-Term Thinking Pursuing happiness is short-term thinking. It concentrates on right now. Right now I’d be very happy if I had a big piece of German chocolate cake. And then after I eat that very large piece of German chocolate cake, I’d be happy if I had just a little more. So I’ll…

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Chp 5: Game Face, His Coping Mechanisms

His Coping Mechanisms Your cop will have his ways to deal with stress. You may not be crazy about some of them, but, if it’s working, you need to let it go. A couple of years ago, Brent had a chief who dealt with stress by having an occasional outdoor cigar-smoking session with a few…

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Chp 5: Game Face-The Hero at Home

The Hero at Home Because this book covers different aspects of law enforcement marriage, it probably seems like my entire existence revolves around the fact that he is a cop. It doesn’t. There are areas of our lives that have nothing whatsoever to do with law enforcement. This is a big question for new officers’…

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Ch. 4: Code Four Communication-Selfishness v. Listening to Understand

Selfishness vs. Listen with the Desire To Understand This last communication killer is so common it’s actually part of our culture.  We’re encouraged to look out for ourselves, to be self-focused. We’re also naturally inclined to respond to our own desires, feelings, and whims. We’ve been doing it since we could breathe. Maturity comes when…

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