Finding My Words Again

Finding My Words Again

I haven’t blogged since December. I’ve been scarce on Facebook for months. My calendar has had only a few speaking engagements.

Sometimes life is so overwhelming there are no words.

My life has been like that for the past year.

I’ve struggled to find words of encouragement in this time of cop hate, low morale, and the division between Americans. Although I read other people’s remarks, I have to confess that although some little tidbits have let me laugh or think, the rest have left me feeling pretty bleak.

Chief and I have had a very hard year. Probably our most difficult yet. Since July 2014 we’ve been under a blanket of trial; layers of thick and thin adversities that tucked us into a bed of suffering emotionally, physically, relationally, mentally, professionally, and spiritually.

I’ll spare you the details.

We walked through one day at a time, sometimes individually, sometimes together. There were days we couldn’t even speak.

One by one, the layers sorted out. Some circumstances changed; others we made peace with. Little by little burdens lifted, and the confusion has subsided.

On Thursday, Chief and I celebrated our 27th wedding anniversary. Because of what we’ve been through it was not only a celebration because that’s what you do on anniversaries; it was a celebration of our friendship. We walked together through many things—and emerged closer than ever. And we’re profoundly grateful.

Just before our dinner date, Brent stopped by the florist to pick up some flowers. As the florist worked on my bouquet, they chatted about the sweetness of a long life together. He said to her, “You know that look an old couple have when they gaze at each other? They don’t have that look because their lives were happy all the time and easy. They have that look because they went through hell together, and made it through.”

I know that there are many of you who’ve been through hell this year. I’ve heard from some of you. I know that this winter season in the Blue Line Family has been long, and doesn’t show signs of letting up soon. But you and your spouse can weather this storm.

In the next weeks, I will share some key things that Chief and I learned this past year that may be helpful for you individually and as a couple.

Oh, one more thing. After our dinner date Thursday, I wanted us to take a selfie so I could put it on our page. What followed was a giggle fest that developed into all out belly laughs. I’ve included it here—as a visual aid to show you that no matter what you go through, you can still return to joy.

Stay tuned for my next post: “You Can Handle More Than You Think.”